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Citizen’s Academy Graduates

Hello again Tuolumne County,

Welcome back to the Sheriff’s Department’s Community Blog. Before the announcements, I’d like to thank you all for the kind feedback on last month’s story. I’ll do my best to keep the stories coming.


The first class of the Citizen’s Academy graduates 09/16/10. The participants have been learning a lot about the Criminal Justice System and how the Sheriff’s Dept. operates. Each Thursday evening they go to class and learn from different instructors about everything from search and seizure law to emergency vehicle operations. When they graduate they will have a general understanding of law enforcement practices. We encourage the public to participate in this program. Call 533-5857 for more information.

I would also like to acquaint our readers with "FAST" (Financial Abuse Specialist Team). The purpose of FAST is to reduce elder and dependant adult financial abuse in Tuolumne County. FAST is made up of various agencies such as: The Sheriff’s Dept, Sonora Police Dept, County Health Dept, Long Term Care, Ombudsmen, Adult Protective service, and the District Attorney’s Office. Additionally, many community members and businesses such as local banks, realtors and lenders, etc., assist the team with expert advice. The team has organized multiple community presentations and developed a scam hotline for questions/answers and reporting of scams that occur within the County. For more information please contact the Community Service Unit at 536-9828.

And now on to our story…

"I shoulda just stayed in bed today!" Most of us, at one time or another, have said these words to ourselves. Some of you out there, and you know who you are, may be saying that right now. Please, read this all the way through, it’s bound to make you feel a little better about your situation.

Billy "Showbiz" McFarland earned his nick name through a lifetime of self induced trials and tribulations that were nothing less than spectacular. No one, including his friends, ex-friends, law enforcement, ambulance personnel etc. expected him to see his next birthday. Yet somehow he always did it, year after year. There was the time he got drunk when his girlfriend dumped him and he decided to go to her Twain Harte apartment, break in, and beat up her new boyfriend thereby proving himself the better man. When he got there at about 6:00 p.m. one cold January evening, he was so drunk he failed to notice that her car wasn’t there and all the lights were out. He decided to add some extra drama and brake in using his forehead. So, he walked directly to a plate glass window and broke it out with his head…HEEEEERE’S JOHNNY! He seriously lacerated his head, hands, and arms and walked around inside leaking DNA all over the place until he figured out there was no one home. Sadly disappointed, he walked outside and passed out in a snow bank. The cold clotted his wounds and probably saved his life.

Then there was the time he decided to run when a Deputy attempted a traffic stop while Showbiz was riding his friend’s best stolen motorcycle. The pursuit ended abruptly when he attempted to create a diversion by crashing the bike into a fence, and make his getaway on foot through the woods. He forgot this works much better in stolen cars and was revived later at the hospital with a concussion and multiple barbed wire cuts.

It was some time later that Showbiz finally out did himself and reached the pinnacle of success in his criminal career.

Continued here…